In our last blog, we talked
about some of the products and ideas that we wouldn’t have given odds but then,
what do we know? Today we bring you some foodie favorites and products that shoulda worked but didn’t – or that are
still out there, but are fading fast in our never to be humble opinion. (We
like bacon as much as the next guy, but
do we really need bacon breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Just sayin’.)
1) Runny Egg on A Salad
Where it came from: Probably out of one of those “mystery basket” cooking
shows – you know, you have arugula, spinach, watercress– and a quail egg. So
how do you put them altogether? Well, it’s not exactly a locked door
mystery. You lightly cook the quail egg,
so the yolk is still runny and you gently lay it on top of the salad, so that
the yolk mixes with the dressing when the diner mushes it all together.
Why it was doomed: Very tres chic. Very tres-mystery basket. Very
tres-if-you- have access to fabulous-salad-dressings-from-sources-like-Village
Garden, Piancone-and-Roma - why
do you need a quail egg in the mix, thank you very much.)
2) Quail eggs
Where it came from: See mystery basket competition. Or, chefs who took
Chicken Little too seriously.
Why it was doomed: Although
popular in Asian and other cuisines, quail eggs are small, hard to peel – and a
true specialty item. Flash in the omelette pan.
3) Ketchup in colors
Where it came from: Heinz thought kids would go for the purple and green
Why it was doomed: Nothing says tomato ketchup like the color purple
(you knew we had to work that in). Besides,
we don’t remember ever begging kids to “eat their ketchup or you won’t get any more
3) Colorless Pepsi
Where it came from: Pepsi came up with a clear version called Crystal
Pepsi that was popular for about 15 minutes (Ok, maybe a year).
Why it was doomed: Pepsi should
be brown. Otherwise it’s Mountain Dew. Duh.
Where they came from: Down on the farm. Really why would you want some ol’
hybrid tomato, when you can have tomatoes just like you (almost remember, but
can’t be sure) granny grew.
Why they are doomed: Plain and simple, they’re too pricey. And they
usually don’t taste the money, so to speak. Unless you have a good heirloom
source – and most of us don’t (granny’s land is now a 7-11), heirloom tomatoes
are usually tossed together in a bin so the shopper doesn’t know if he’s
getting Brandywine or Mortgage Lifter. The only one having a field day with
this one are the folks out there naming the varieties.
5) Bacon ice
Where it came from: The everything-with-bacon national movement.
Why it is doomed: Nothing says tasty treat more than ice cream mixed
with a little pork. Besides who needs bacon ice cream when there are logical
combos, like butter and pecan and rocky and road?
Where it came from: Health
concerns over metal pans; something new and different. Silcone pans could take
the heat and were non-stick.
Why they’re doomed: The other day a plumber asked us if we had a pan to
put under a dripping pipe. We immediately reached for our silicone pan. At last
we had a use for it. Some things are great in silicone – spatulas, for
instance. But the pans? Too bendy, too
flexible, too our-cake-just-wound-up-on-the-floor. It did make a good drip pan, however.
That are Tired and True
Where they came from: Folks who think they’re clever and hip and a tad bit
Why they’re doomed: Enough with
the farm to table; locavore; snout to tail; cheek to jowl. It’s like commercial jingles played over and
over – at some point we stop paying attention. We deserve a break today.